Monday, 23 March 2015
The Soldiers Journey To War (descriptive writing)
The sky is a mixture of grey with patches of white sashaying through. Down the bank side of the uneven ground lies a road that looks like a bottomless pit. As I kneel lifelessly on the hard, continuously patterned ground, I look around.
In the distance I see never-ending dead bushes. I feel like the further I let my sight seek, the worse everything gets. The ground is getting more like elephants skin every meter.
I decide that today isn’t the day to mope around and be lazy anymore. I finally realise that this is war.
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rocket: I think that I could have described a bit more of what was around me
ReplyDeletestar: I really like my opening sentence
star: I like it how my last sentence rymes
star: i like how you said the sky is a mixture of grey with patches of white sashaying through.
ReplyDeletestar: i like how you said bottomless pit
rocket:i think you could have maybe said what you were feeling
star 1 i like how you say gray saching through the white
ReplyDeletestar 2 i like how you say continuely
rocket i think you should describe the scene a little bit more
good words
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